I’m not aging gracefully, and I’m taking the rest of you with me.
As I grow older, I enjoy being a stay-off-my-lawn curmudgeon. I hate everyone like my wife hates dogs. While she doesn’t really hate dogs, and I don’t hate people, I get frustrated by thoughtlessness. People who tailgate when I’m already speeding, or when they don’t pick up their dog shit in my yard, or [...]
“Is that you on the cover?” She eyed the hero on my book, inspecting Angst’s gray hair and bald spot before looking at me with a mischievous grin. “Well, heh, no, not exactly.” I take a deep breath, preparing the explanation in my head. I’m distracted by the busy convention, and the words stumble [...]
I remember. I remember meeting my first Marching Band director in 2nd grade. I was at a restaurant with my parents and Mr. Shaffer was at dinner with his wife, my 2nd grade teacher. He was a kind man, and so very encouraging. Even 40 years ago, I remember. At the end of my [...]
It’s time I admit the worst kept secret on the internet, I’m aging poorly. I’ve got wrinkles like a washed shirt that was hung to dry but should have been pressed. I’m fat like those clickbait ads you see on crappy websites telling you about this one, little, secret… My thinning hair would be perfect [...]
